Bewitched

After spending a few nights in Laos's capital Vientiane, we felt very lethargic and chilled. It's a beautiful little town with a French feel to it. This may be because Laos was part of French Indo-China up until the 1950s. There are lovely bakeries, steak houses, nice promenades, greenery, interesting buildings. An obvious hot spot for middle aged couples. Our hotel closed at 11.30 every night, due to strict laws, so we ate well, slept well, took leisurely visits to temples and Buddha Park that hosts Buddhist statues with a Hindu twist to them.

Heaven.

So when we decided to head to Vang Vieng, three hours south, we stepped off the bus and thought we'd landed in hell.

Dusty, dirty, full of young drunk twenty somethings. So unlike sleepy Vientiane.

The food was hideous, we had to check out of our hotel after two days because of the insects - ants everywhere and cockroaches. We went to a lagoon and visited the caves and then thought we'd only stay a couple of days, then get the hell out of here.

That was until we went tubing and got a whole new perspective of the place!

What was once one man's poison became our meat, and we devoured it and stayed 18 days. Here are the reasons why we HATE to LOVE (and we do love) Vang Vieng......

1) The nightlife is great - Bucket Bar with free buckets, free shots of whiskey through a pineapple. So you get smashed for free. Good music too, the clubs play Electro House and Drum and Bass.

2) There are so many English people here, you feel like you're at home. Good, but I love a foreigner!

3) Despite the town's ugliness - it looks like it belongs in a Mediterranean 18-30s resort - it's surrounded by majestic mountains, lagoons and a meandering river.

4) The food isn't great, the service is slow. But there are a few hidden gems - Nazim's Indian restaurant and the salmon place next door.

5) The currency is ridiculous - 13000 Kip to the pound, but at the same time I've never had so many notes in my wallet at once!

6)The shopping is terrible. You mainly get things for tubing like 'waterproof' bags, that aren't waterproof. The underwear doesn't fit me, the flip flops are impossible to wear. We did manage to finally find some dresses though.

7) The lagoon is lovely but the roads to it are really bumpy. We took a Tuk Tuk to it one day and it nearly fell apart - literally - the seats in it collapsed.

8) There's not really much to do in the day - you can go for bike rides, but there's no where to ride them, and the bikes are old. But if you want you can sit in the Friends and Family Guy bars, where they play videos on loop.

9) Vang vieng is safe and everyone's up for a laugh. We've seen some funny costumes tubing - cowboy hats and face masks. Even Santa!

10) TUBING - is the best. You start off in a rubber ring at the top of the river and there are bars dotted along the side. They throw you a line to catch and then haul you into the bars. The music is great, you can jump in, swing in from a trapeze, you can even play Mud Volleyball or do mud wrestling in some bars. We had a friend who started off at the top of the river and skipped all the bars and floated all the way down. He thought why does everyone rave about this - the water's really calm! It's not the tubing itself it's the bars, the atmosphere.

I can't put my finger on it but maybe we were put under a spell... It was hard to leave.

Packing My Trunk And Saying Goodbye To The Circus That Is Bangkok

'Ello tuk tuk?'
'Cheap Cheap, I give you good price'
'Do you want a suit?'

I've heard it all before!!!!!!!!!

My head might just pop!

We'd just arrived back in Bangkok after spending two tranquil (!) weeks down south in the islands - well they weren't that peaceful really because we went to the Black Moon Party, various pool parties and then had a 12 hour coach ride back to the capital. We're tired, we're hungry. We can't find anywhere to check in. Finally we find somewhere, eat, then go to sort out our Vietnamese Visas (time is running out) - but there's no luck as it is shut for a week for Chinese New Year.

Now I'm not a celebrity but can someone get me out of here... please!!

We decided to fly up to Chiang Mai and do an elephant trek in the jungle while our visas were getting sorted.

Our friend from Slough, Kristian, came along too. We thought we'd take our little rucksacks but when he turned up he had a huge bag with him (I thought we were the flash packers!) Turns out he's got tins of tuna, vinegar (?), bread and basically half of 7Eleven! I don't know what Lyns and I expected when we booked a JUNGLE trek, but he convinced us to buy trainers just in case, so we got some.

In our group we have four Alaskan boys (who really don't appreciate my Sarah Palin jokes) two Danish girls and our tour guide, Yo.

The trek started off nice and easy - we went to an Orchid and butterfly farm. I love butterflies as it is, so taking pictures of the creatures on these lovely flowers I thought; 'this trek is just what I needed, nice and chilled'.

Then we went for a not-so-very light stroll in the jungle. It was horrendous. Lyns and I lagged behind. Even with our sticks and leaf hats on, we weren't impressed! Kristian was not too far in front of us - think he was weighed down from all the tins of tuna! The other members of the group were barely sweating - do they have jungles in Alaska and Denmark or something?!

Turns out these pro jungle trekkers had only opted for the two day tour rather than the three day one (like what us mugs we were doing) because it sounded too intense - you have to climb up a mountain.

WHATTTTT????!!!!

I thought it was a nice simple jungle trek. We clearly didn't read the itinerary.

We had a nice lunch of rice in a banana leaf - so that was a highlight of the day and also the scenery was amazing.

I did want to shoot myself in the head through sheer tiredness after three hours of it though.

We stayed in a hut up a hillside - there were elephants at the bottom in fields, a food hut near them and a lake for swimming - which I readily jumped into!

That night we played Jungle Jenga, cards and learnt campfire songs in Thai. There were so many stars to gaze at in the sky. It was beautiful.

The next morning we woke up, bathed the elephants and then went for a little ride on them. We did swap about quite a lot on top of the elephant. Sitting on it's head, on the seat. It was quite fun - sometimes a bit uncomfortable!

Then afterward we parted with the Alaskan's and Danish and Slough United plus our tour guide Yo, trekked up a mountain. Oh yes. It was steep, it was hard, but we sang the whole way up there and it was worth it.

The views were out of this world. We stayed with a local family who were really friendly. Their house was basically a hut on stilts with an outside wash area - which was just a big tub of water and the toilet was a hole in the floor!

By this point we were so pleased to be up the mountain that none of it bothered us!

We watched a breath taking sunset, had dinner by candle light. Sang songs again round a campfire. There is no electricity in this village, and between us we brought one torch - well Kristian brought the torch we stupidly didn't think to bring one.

The next day we went down the mountain - I pretty much slid the whole way down - damn trainers with no grip!

We went to two waterfalls, which were both stunning.

It was all go, after getting to the bottom we then went white water rafting - which was hard work and then went bamboo rafting.

I've never worked out so much in my life.

Even though we went to Chiang Mai to get away from the bustle of Bangkok we ended up climbing a mountain, doing big jungle walks, rowing rafts, swimming in pools beside waterfalls - basically we were knackered!!!

It was so worth it though. Just to get away from the tuk tuk men if nothing else!

Meet Me Half Way

Bangkok and Shopping go hand in hand.

It would be impossible to not browse through the markets and find yourself some goodies.

When I first got here I loved haggling. It was fun and even more exciting when you got the price down. Now we've been away five weeks I'm sick of bartering. It's getting tedious. Sometimes I can't even be bothered to argue, even when I know it should be cheaper. The market stall owners have sucked any argumentative skills out of me.

My mother is the queen of haggling, so I owe everything I know to you Mum! She did it in the markets in Trinidad growing up and has been known to try haggling everywhere since then - even in shopping centres in London much to our embarrassment! Before we came away she helped me do a carboot sale to get rid of my junk and make some money. She talked a man into buying used perfume, in a pink bottle, for full price by convincing him that it was unisex. I couldn't believe her ruthlessness. 'What? He smelt it and liked it, what's wrong about that?' was her answer.

So Mum I dedicate this to you!

Here are my haggling tricks.....

1) Half it and then work your way up. If something is 400 baht (8 pounds) say 200 baht straight up. They'll laugh but then you can meet in the middle so might get it for 300 baht. If they don't budge or say no then walk away, they'll soon run after you as they want a sale after all and know there's a lot of competition.

2) Say you've seen it elsewhere cheaper. This could backfire and they could call your bluff and tell you to get it over there.

3) Go to the market early - it's bad luck for them if their first customer doesn't buy anything. Sometimes they'll follow you and practically try and give you the item. This sounds great in theory, but markets open at the crack of dawn - so it means a ridiculously early start. You could just do an all nighter at a Ping Pong Party on the Khosan Road. I don't advise it - you'll probably still be drunk and will end up with more things than you need and for double the price.

4) Do a deal. If you buy two things - try and get a discount on both items. Or even if you've brought something from the stall before, say do me a deal as I've come back to you. I want to give my money to you and i'll keep coming back.

5) When I'm in a bad mood and feel like being a wind up, I'll play them off each other. Lynsey was after a T-shirt the other day and there were two stalls oppposite each other with the same T-shirt. I went to one and asked how much, then I went straight to the other and told them the price they were offering and if they could beat it. I did this for a while before they cottoned on. We got a good price - even though they fell out with each other!

6) Try using some local language. They appreciate a bit of respect and effort you make. Anything to sweeten them up.

7) If all else fails makde yourself grubby. If you look dirty they'll know you're a backpacker and not a holiday maker! So roll about in the mud for a bit then go shopping!!!!!

Thai Table Tennis

I consider myself an open minded woman. Although I strongly believe in girl power, I can understand why some women earn money stripping. Besides I have lots of friends who are pole dancers - whether they earn money, perform or just go for classes. They are all elegant, glamorous and beautiful people. They have the ability to bewitch men, but keep their diginty at the same time.

Personally, I think dancing around a pole is fun, an amazing work out too. Then again I've never danced on a pole in a club! So liberal as I think I am, I was still horrified when I found myself at a Ping Pong show near the Pat Pong Market in Bangkok.

I guess I'd expected stunning girls doing amazing tricks. I was shocked to instead see them in tacky bikini's (I'm talking gold plastic), some fat, some with disgusting big ugly tattoos, others without make-up on or with their hair scraped back like they'd just finished a shift in the fish market!

They stood on the stage obviously bored and unengaged. Sure, they pulled string out from inside themselves, they squatted over paper to draw pictures. Admittedly I was impressed when they popped balloons using darts and blew out Birthday cake candles...... For those of you who are a bit naive and innocent - I'm referring to the women doing these tricks using ONLY their lady garden!

Despite feeling the tiniest bit impressed, it was when one offered to light someone's cigarette that I thought, how vile. Why would he want to smoke it after it had been in there! Surely he'd risk getting Chlamydia or worse on his lips!! And shame on the woman, everyone knows smoking is bad for your health, but doing it in between your legs - well surely there's some sort of law against it!!

Despite all the negativity I am glad I went to see what all the fuss is about. You don't find many young backpackers/ holiday makers who have not been to one. The 'dancers' were pushy though, they over charged and wanted a tip for everything. I always thought that going into a seedy place like this I'd feel a bit self conscious, but in there the competition wasn't all it was cracked up to be!

It's opened my eyes as well, I never realised how many things you can do with your downstairs department! How did they even come up with the idea to start with?!

Unfortunately, I won't be testing it on my Fletch It First blog, sorry guys! And to be honest, never will I see a Birthday cake with candles in quite the same way ever again!

Could This Be Under Water Love?

I was told that going for a dive in Thailand was a must by my pal Mel. She's a professional diver - well kind of - she's scuba dived everywhere, got her Padi, so she knows!

I've been on a few fun dives before - once in Cyprus with my brothers, and done three other dives in Egypt. In Koh Pha Ngan we met so many people who had gone, loved it, so we thought it was time we followed suit. When we walked into the booking place, they asked if I as a beginner or had been before. So I told them proudly it would be my fifth dive. The lady behind the counter started looking into arranging the open sea dive for intermediates, then she asked 'do you have your certificates?' So i replied no, I'd just gone on a few fun dives before. The look of horror spread across her face. 'You've been diving four times before and never had a certificate?!!'

Apparently there is no such thing as a 'fun' dive. Scuba diving is extremely dangerous - you need proper training - in a pool, classroom, a test and then certificate before you even head into the water. I'd never learnt about breathing under water - the effects it has on your lungs, how to retrieve my oxygen mask if I was to lose it, how to give air to a friend in need, how to surface or anything like that. I couldn't believe I'd not practised any of these things before.

I'd always felt safe with the previous instructors but what if something had happened to them? I'd have been stuck at the bottom of the ocean on my own with no way of knowing what to do or how to even get back up to the surface! I'd even booked these dives through what I thought was legitimate companies run through the hotel. It really freaked me out. There were even children under 10 who had gone on these dives - apparently you have to be over this age with a lot of pool training to go out.

So I booked to go on a Padi Discover Scuba Diving course. We did a lot of pool training, had a test, then headed to Koh Ma (north of Koh Pangan) for the open sea. Swimming in, which felt like ages, we reached our point and went down. I didn't realise at this point that Lyns had some trouble with her mask and had headed back to shore with one of the teachers, but I headed out with another.

There was a lot of plankton at first, but we swam out, saw lots of fish, we even played with a clown fish and turned over lots of shells. It was beautiful, like being inside a giant fish bowl, and I felt so much more at ease. If anything were to go wrong - I'd be confident to sort it out.

We were down a good 50 minutes and had gone down eight metres, which isn't deep but at least I was safe. Yes, so maybe it wasn't as clear as Egypt, the Mekkah of the diving world, but it was just nice to be out with an instructor who wasn't on a horse - like the cowboys I'd gone on previous dives with!

I think this will be the start of a very beautiful, safe and legitimate new hobby!

Ten Reasons Why Koh Pha Ngan Is Better Than Koh Samui

1)There is less tourism and it's not as built up, which is nice. In Chaweng, Koh Samui, there were McDonalds everywhere, Starbucks, 7-Eleven stores every other shop. Here there is only one 7-Eleven in town.

2) Nicer beaches, the sea is also calmer.

3) Koh Pha Ngan is beautiful - there is a lot more mountainous terrain than in Samui.

4) You don't get hassled into buying things by the locals. 'Cheap cheap,' 'we give you good price' - No I don't want an icecream after I've just finished one, and no I really don't need a tailored made suit for backbacking!

5) The night life is great - with pool parties, jungle parties, Full Moon, Black Moon, Silver Moon, Half Moon.... In Chaweng, Koh Samui, The Green Mango area is fun and busy but not quite the same.

6) Everything is cheaper in Koh Pha Ngan. In Chaweng and the southern beach in Lamai, expect to pay 600 baht for a nice room. Here it is 400 baht in the nicest hotel with A/C

7) The people are more friendly. Yes they think both Lynsey and I are called Jennifer, but they make the effort to talk to us, and are not trying to sell us anything.

8) Even though in Lamai everywhere you went you got a free buffet if you brought a drink, here you can get free transfers to hotels and a free bus into town.

9) The Hippies we met on the bus down from Bangkok said so.... Well they described Koh Samui as a place that boys in Manchester United tops and Fat Germans with prostitutes go. Which brings me onto the final reason....

10) Less prostitutes, in fact I've seen none so far! Even I have been chatted up by the lady boys in Koh Samui. I can tell you how much they charge, as they like to tell you. Here there are no 60 year old men with 21 year old Thai women. I find them scary. A drunk one on a moped had a go at us one night, and after a show we had a picture taken with one - who then asked for a tip. We managed to cobble together about 2 baht between us, but she bitchily said 'no, you keep it. You need it more than me it seems!'

Earning Our Stripes

Apparently there's a difference between travelling and backpacking. We are backpackers, as we found out on an eight hour bus journey down to Koh Samui. .


We met two 'travellers' called Paul and Dave. They were stopping off at Koh Pangan. They told us about a jungle trance party called Destination - apparently it's as good as the Full Moon parties were ten years ago.

You see Paul and Dave actually went to these parties ten years ago. Possibly even 20 years ago! They are leathery tanned, past it, and very hippy. I wonder if maybe they invented travelling!

They've been everywhere, they've done it all.

Wandering around aimlessly - India, Burma, Laos, Thailand - the full works.

They know every party.

To them though, we are not even worthy of being classed as travellers. We are merely backpackers. It's an 18 month holiday - nothing more. The reason - we have a rough route, a time limit, a budget.

They are, and have been, doing it indefinitely.

They also live in their own little world - one where they make all their own rules. They've earnt their travelling stripes you see.

On the bus they shouted, drank beer, smoked (even though it was prohibited), took drugs (Valium), even slept in the aisles. Hardcore... apparently.

After hearing an earful about hippy events over Asia and the amazing raves, I wondered, can you over do it?

The thought of staying out here forever is tempting but not realistic.




















It's made me want to make the most out of now and not end up as a 40 year old crazy 'traveller'/ hippy with no purpose.

They talked so loudly I'm actually suprised you couldn't hear them back in the UK!

I think I'll be sticking to the five months in Asia and year in Oz. If I do anymore I may get dreads, start my own cult and live the rest of my life in a campervan in Goa!